Dear Henry,

heading into 32 weeks!

Dear Henry,

So now time is really, really going by quickly. I know, I know. I said that last time (and the time before), but really it's starting to get a crazy as we approach the 32-week mark! We see the doctor every other week now, but that will turn into every single week pretty soon. Our 6-week long birthing classes started on Monday too. It was really strange because I've never been around so many pregnant women before in my life. Bellies everywhere. In the beginning we had to break into small groups of five couples, sit in a circle and find 10 things we all had in common. Interestingly enough our entire group was having boys! Of course your Dad and I had to take the lead because no one was talking but we managed to find 10 things each of us shared. Afterward we learned all about things like preterm labor, all sorts of "interesting" anatomy details, and some things that kind of freaked me out as far as labor and delivery. But, along with the scared feelings I'm having I'm even more so excited so I think it evens out pretty well. I really liked that the teachers focused on natural birth, even though it felt like we were the only people in the entire room who were hoping to go that way. It was quite the eye-opening process for your Papa. Luckily he is always incredibly open and forthcoming with his love and words, but he was especially appreciative that evening because he got to witness a lot of other pregnant women who were in a much different mindset than mine, to put it lightly. Not that one or the other is better, but your Dad definitely had quite the enlightening experience and it was incredibly sweet and adorable.

We close on our home in exactly one week and then another new adventure begins! We have all of your nursery furniture ordered and it should be delivered sometime towards the end of next week. Everyday this feels a little more "real," but once your room is all set up and I can just stand in there and think "Yes, my son is coming home to this room, so soon," I'm sure it will be more real than anything I've felt yet. My last day of work before you are born is rapidly approaching, and it's a very interesting sensation to think about how much my life is going to change. Today I posted a little blurb on Twitter about some numbers- "7 days until the house closes, 35 days of work left, and 60 days until the little guy is due. That's a LOT of change." There is just so much going on right now, but it's all so good that it's part overwhelming and part happiness overload! I feel like a broken record all of the time because I'm constantly in this "oh my gosh" kind of place, but I really can't help it.

I should also mention that this past weekend I got to meet baby Kyler! It was amazing to hold him, and to spend time with your Auntie Erin and Auntie Shirley. Kyler was only a week old this past Sunday but I could already tell he is going to be just like his Dad. He definitely looks a lot like him, and once he woke up and opened his eyes I just about melted. Erin is a great mama, and it was great to talk to her and to learn more about what it will be like when you arrive! We already have fun playdates planned- she is going to come up here with K., and we will drive down there once a month too! Luckily the Kolbes live in Peoria so they're a lot closer than a lot of our other friends and family in the valley. I'm just really looking forward to seeing you and Kyler together! Seriously exciting.

I spent some time the other day looking through all of your little clothes again, and just being in awe that you are going to soon be wearing them. I can't wait to put them all away in your new closet and dresser, and get everything ready for you. I just want to sit in your room and daydream for a bit, slow down and take this in. Your Dad and I have been taking long walks every single night and we talk and talk, and walk and walk, and discuss so many things, but mainly talk about you. We want to just stop time for a moment so we always remember how this felt, and at the same time we want to speed it all up and be right there for your birthday. 60 days until you're due to be here, 60 days until I meet our darling boy, 60 days until our life is changed forever and ever. There's a saying that a child picks their parents before they are even born, and I like to think about that, and think about you loving us before all of this ever happened. I feel like the moment you're born and I look into those eyes, it will be like coming home. I used to say that you would be the one arriving, but really, I think it will be me. I am about to become who I've always wanted to be, about to really take this step into this new life, new role...and truly arrive. A Mom. Someone you can always count on. Someone who will never judge you, and always, always show you love and kindness. A hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on. You're the one making the grand entrance, but in a way I'm arriving too. Just in time to meet you.
And when you are born I feel like a part of me won't necessarily be gone, but it is going to change. A metamorphosis into motherhood. A butterfly, a new form, something better and something more beautiful. A Mom. Your Mom.

I love you always.