8 weeks to a better me: Week 4/Loving Yourself


Welcome to week four of this fun little project, and the halfway point!  This marks the fourth week of setting small goals and hopefully achieving them!  This next Saturday I'll be posting a mid-point checkup to go over my successes (and non-successes), and talk a bit about how I've done with my goals, which is pretty great so far!  And this week I am BEYOND excited to have a sweet friend of mine posting here. When I thought about this topic, Kaelah is the first person who popped into my head. I adore this woman with a fierceness, and I absolutely love her zest for life. To me, she epitomizes self-confidence and I really enjoy how she encourages others to find that same confidence. I knew she'd be perfect for this week, and I was overjoyed when she agreed. If you don't already read Kaelah's blog, be sure to head over her way- she's a daily read of mine and one of my favorite people in this whole, wide blogging world. Thank you again, Kaelah! So much love.

Hey y'all! I'm Kaelah Bee and I write a little life + style blog called Little Chief Honeybee where I feature daily outfits, adventures, and a life practiced with positivity with my two sweet bulldogs and fiance, Mike! 

When Danielle contacted me about writing this guest post I was overjoyed and very very flattered. She expressed an interest in having me write about the topic of "loving yourself" and I knew it was a match made in heaven! I think we all struggle with appreciating ourselves for who we are. Whether we feel too big, too small, too pale or any other combination of "less than desirable" traits, we're being blind to our true potential. I've struggled with this myself for a long time. Being a tomboy turned girly girl, 14 years of softball doesn't normally bode well in a dainty dress. I've got calf muscles that would rival those of a professional rugby player! But then I realized that it's all about perspective! While I may have giant calves and a hard time finding fabulous boots come Autumn, I also have some insanely strong legs! They help me run fast, jump high, and lift things that a 5'2" gal wouldn't be expected to lift. They may be masculine, but they're mine! 

Sure, my hips are.. well… big, but I got them honestly! My mom is a tiny woman but boy she's got some hips! She's always told me those are "childbearing hips" and I should be proud to have them! It may have taken me 20-something years, but I finally am proud. They make me feel womanly and I know they'll be put to good use come time for my own little honeybees! 

Blogging has really opened my eyes to all the different sizes and shapes of people. There are so many life + style bloggers out there who share their outfits and inspire me on the daily. But every single body type is different. It's so refreshing! I don't feel like I have to be a stick-thin model type to share my outfits online. I'm greeted with some of the most uplifting comments ever! Women who wish to have my curves or confidence, etc. It's a true testament to everything we think merely being perspective. I may see those curves as sometimes overpowering or a downright curse, but there's a woman out there with a totally different body type who wishes she had them. Instead of constantly looking at others and being envious of what they have, we need to be proud of what we have ourselves!  When you're brave enough to be proud of who you are and what you look like, you immediately give someone else the courage to do the same. It's a snowball effect. We need to take back the reigns on body image. The media only has a negative effect on our psyche because we allow it to. We allow fashion magazines to make us feel inferior. Instead, let's stand up and say "NO! Not today! Today I'm going to love those hips, curves, jiggly bits and I might even remain indifferent about my cellulite!" 

I truly think everything in our lives stems from our attitude. When you make the conscious effort to change how you look at things and how you react, everything else changes, too. I won't lie and say that changing all of this can happen overnight. It's a matter of willpower and perseverance. Even years after my initial "Ah-Hah!" moment, I still have to work at it. I made the decision to stop hating my body… it's been hard, but it's been the best decision I've ever made!

Phew! Okay! Well how about some ~tricks and tips for banishing that bad attitude toward yourself?

1. Find something that makes you feel good!
Use it as your guide when you're feeling down in the dumps or in need of a little pick me up! I found my inspiration in a less-than-likely place… a poem called Desiderata (link: http://www.fleurdelis.com/desiderata.htm) by Max Erhman. Something about this poem makes me feel alive. No matter if I'm feeling blue about my future, blogging, my relationships, or my body, it picks me up. It reminds me about what's important, and what's not. The line that is especially significant is "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for there will aways be greater and lesser persons than yourself." Rather than being envious or jealous of others, we should focus on what's great within ourselves. Someone out there wishes to have what you do, you just may not know it! If you're moved by quotes or lyrics, print them out and hang them around your house! Hang them in places that you'll see every single day! Make positive affirmations your morning routine (and share them! You'll be amazed at how good it makes you feel to share the optimism!).

2. For every negative thought you think about yourself, think a positive one!
Look in the mirror and find yourself frustrated with the way your hair kinks or that little bit of extra "love" in your love handles? Instead of cursing it, think about the person out there who wishes they had hair. Or think about how great it feels to run your fingers through it when it's freshly conditioned (that's my favorite! And practically the only time I can run my fingers through my mop!). And those love handles? To your special someone, that might be their most favorite part of your body. Someone loves it… even if you don't!

3. Dress up just because!
There's no denying that getting dolled up makes us feel good. Even if we have no plans to leave the house. I find myself to be the most productive when I get up, get dressed, and face the day with a fresh outfit. Yeah, I work from home. So what! Even when the only sunlight I see is when walking to the mailbox, if I'm dressed my best then I feel like a million bucks. Instead of waiting for a reason to get dressed up, just do it! Put on your favorite dress or your favorite blouse and take note on how it makes you feel! You don't need an occasion… You are the occasion! 

4. Take inventory of your closet!
Try everything on… if it doesn't fit, throw it out. Better yet -- if it doesn't make you feel like a superstar, get rid of it! We have all of the signs and people who spend billions of dollars every year to make us feel insignificant and "in need" of something to make us whole. Don't let that get to you! Don't subject yourself to the torture of trying on a piece of clothing that makes you feel like crap. Just toss it all together! Instead, curate a closet full of items that make you feel like you're a movie star. Remember that you are worthy of all this! You are worthy of feeling good! 

I feel like I've written a novel, I apologize! I'm just so passionate about taking back the confidence that is rightfully ours! When in doubt, just remember what Eleanor Roosevelt always said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Guess what? That means yourself, too!

1. Silence that negative inner voice in my mind. I've been a little hard on myself lately, and I've noticed I've been trying to live up to some unrealistic expectation I've set in my mind of how I should look. I plan on taking Kaelah's advice and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

2. Get my "Shop my Closet" pop up blog up and running. Out with the old, in with the new...and "new" meaning things that fit my new, post-baby bod well and make me feel confident.

3. Wear a tank top to the gym. Now, I know this sounds like a super weird goal, but I have been unusually feeling really annoyed with the stares about my tattoos while there. I workout best when my arms are free and I'm SO annoyed with myself that I've allowed these one or two rude people to make me feel unsure of myself in such a way. It's almost embarrassing! So, I'm just going to ignore the snooty women who like to whisper within earshot and point (yes that happened the other day) and just get on with my life and love me for me...like I usually do! :)

How about you? I'm trying out inlinkz for the first time, and hopefully this will be an easier and more visible way to share our goals!